It's been a really long evening.

I guess I've done the wrong thing again, or have i?

I guess it's too late to realise that I've no one to turn to-again.

No one to trust.

And I'm back to pouring me out to some stupid screen that will not tell me what i should do.

Was fergie so right in singing that fairytales don't always have a happy ending?

Or is it simply just the infamous and unforgiving reality setting in?

No doubt at times I'm so tempted to say forget we ever happened, it's just this time I've fallen crazily in love- like never before.

I cannot not have you.

Screw my life, i do wanna trust you.

Is it really so important that everyone has a say in my life?

I'm not celebrity.

I'm suppose to update 'bout Christmas eve. So, here goes..

Ok, actually i forgot what happened alr

..

ok! i ended work early, so met up again with Diana and Mika.

Went to centre point.(blah blah blah)

Met Kit yee and Wanning after that, then slacked at BK while we waited for Elin to end work.

We were carrying big bags of food, not forgetting my pair of expensive boots, so fortunately there were only 3 of us. Got a table for 4, the extra chair for my boots :) Had we met anyone else, my boots would have to sit on the floor man.

Elin came along, cab-ed down to her place and fetched Eleanor on the way.

Then.. PREPARATION and BARBEQUE !

Had fun eating 'WOOD'.

(inside joke uh, sorry)

Half way through dinner cum supper or whatever la, we suddenly decided to join the crowd and get stuck in the phone line jam. So, Eleanor and i whipped our phones out and started spamming. HAHA! and we got replies like 5 hours late la. BUCK UP MAN M1!

We also had the honour of savouring Uncle's German white wine:D

Mmm. SWEET man.

HENG only 5 of us, the wine alr so little, more people means less wine.

After dinner, Eleanor and i crap-ed 'bout volleyball, Kit yee, Elin and Wanning took turns to bathe.

Watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S till all of us slept.

Well, guess that was Christmas eve 2007 :)

~

Since i'm already here, i'll just blog 'bout today also :D

Didn't have work, but went back to Spinelli to pass the rest their Christmas presents.

Was planning to go back to help the youths do the deco (I SWEAR.)

But the plan backfired in the end, cos Mr Ting said he wanted to go town.

And yes i couldn't resist going. *sigh

So i slacked in spin's till closing, waiting for john to end work.

Headed down to Taka with him to get a present for his son.

Shopping with a man means, i see i like i buy lets go.

HAHA. He decided on this Thomas remote controlled toy in less than 15 mins.

That's what i call a pro shopper man.

(but of course with my help la)

Then met Elin to pass her presents too.

Went to spin's at hereen again :S

Had 'dinner' at BK. I almost died.

Caught a train home, something 'cute' happened.

:D

I ate a lot today.

Which is a good thing, i guess.

Today was attempt number 3 to leave home.

And I'm glad to say, success!

So I'm blogging from tpy now, which will be my home for at least the whole week(or until my clothes run out) (:

What's more, is that i have an entire room to myself and a maid to do my clothes.

weez.

But anyways, work wasn't happening today la.

I walked into the store with 2 big bags and so rather obviously all the people in the store found out about my 'voyage'.

Being the only non-married one there, it was like school all over again man.

"You have to understand how your parents feel."

"It's all part of growing up."

"They are still your parents."

Sigh.

Like i do not know.

Give me a break can, with everything that's happening around me.

Friends, or should i say EX-friends telling me to keep away after 3 years of friendship.

And it's not as if I've done anything to even deserve that statement.

Others pretending things never happening when they obviously did.

And now, I've even lost my only place of refuge- the showers.

I can so honestly say this with the vibes and exact meaning- LIFE SUCKS.

And john? For goodness's sake, I'm not a young girl. though i know you're old.

So it's ok to talk to me about being GAY.

~

I should just rewind back to yesterday. It'll brightened up my mood.
SO.......

When out with a few of the LKYs for shopping yesterday.(John, Jeremy, Joshua, Van.)

Cruised down from town to concourse then to ikea and back to town again in john tan's merc.

Super got air(:

We were going round and round like the erp and gantry didn't matter.

The feeling rocks-so much.

It was so much fun, and i laughed too much.

Ok, but we were shopping for 31st's enchante stuff, so didn't get anything for myself.

I am so anticipating that night, it's gonna be really enchanted .

Like magical, so i hope our ideas will materialize.

Yeah so we drove past town, reached this particular area, and i started screaming in the car.

Haha.

That'll be all then, i still have to post in the LKY's blog.

i should just copy and paste la

:D

It seems as though the shower is my only refuge now.

It's like a reflection time- let the water run and wash away all the stupid things that happened throughout the day.

But i'm still not feeling any better after that duper long bath.

I'm feeling really depressed and all.

La dolce vita?

more like the emo life la.

Did closing with kyra today, wasn't bad at all.

However it seems that my auntie has gotten hooked up on setting me up with kyra man.

My next week schedule sucks big time.

MONDAY- closing with kyra.

TUESDAY-closing with kyra.

WEDNESDAY-opening with kyra.

Just kill me.

After work, was suppose to me up with kuan for dinner together with Elin.

But kuan went jamming instead.

So Elin and i dined at pepper lunch.

Walked around town aimlessly again.

The both of us have been going out together since kit yee left for china- far too often.

I think it's starting to seem like we're lesbians la.

I'm really drained.

Inside and outside.

I've got a big decision to make.

I don't want this to take 3 whole years again.

I hate how much i like you la.

FORGET.

Just had a super long and HOT bath.

omg. After smelling of espresso and smoke for the whole day, that was truly refreshing.

Having worked for such a long time, i can finally say that today was my most satisfying day at work.

though i had extreme mood swings, which got the attention of everyone there.

Worked in the morning with kyra, i was dreading it the whole of last night.

Turned out it wasn't that bad.

Actually, its all thanks to her who 'forced' me to do a good job at the cash register, that i found the day fulfilling.

Then again, i have to say, I'm not anticipating closing with her tomorrow. In fact, I'm Beginning to feel all uneasy again.

Oh well, we shall see.

There's just so mush i wanna pour out, bu this is just not the right place and I'm really worn out. Physically and emotionally.

Met up with Elin after work.

Then met up with my "bludder".

And finally said a few words to kuanwee, tjy, rina, Jaslyn and fu.

PHEW.

Elin was missing in action half way, so i walked round with my "bludder".

Went into herene. BIG mistake.

Shan't elaborate.

I'm disappointed enough.

~

Why does this always have to happen to me.

Am i really that easy to play on?

I swore that it would never happen to me again after dennis.

And it just did.

Just blame it on my stupidity la.

It couldn't have meant anything.

"huh? you mean i did that? oh i'm sorry, it was more of an accident than anything else. I hope i didn't give you the wrong impression."

Then again how can anyone be so nonchalant about such things.

You did it, then you did it.

You made me fall so deeply and now you're pretending sh*t took place.

FINE. At least now i know my stand.

When you can have any girls you want, i know i don't even stand a chance to be in line.

I mean, what am i to you?

Part of me wants you out of my life, but the other part just cannot let go.

I like you for who you are, not what you are.

I swear.

~

Didn't have to work today, so met elin, jas and jiawen.

Outing today was bad, elin and i fell into depression half way.

Guess mine was worst.

I really hate this feeling la.

elin was right, right from the start.

ALL *** guys are the same.

ugh.

I remembered it was your birthday.

In fact, I've been counting down.

So happy belated birthday.

I know you're disgusted.

SORRY LAH!

I've gotta stop dreaming man.

Coz nothings working.

Life sucks at home.

My job stinks.

And i guess even cupid has deserted me.

Needs no explanation.

This is the infamous reality.

Say you have a worst off life than me, i'll galdly give you 50% of my pay.

Guess i'm love sick.

omg. was really miserable today.

was at suntec, ran into yingxiu and gang.

I'M SAD.

DOES ANYONE CARE?

I'm worn out.

Work was fine today, i laughed a lot.

Went down to town after my stupid unpaid OT.

Met Elin and Wanning.

Snacked at spin's with elin.

Saw Nazri. Was elated la.

Missed him super much, working with him is so much more fun.

Met Gusti after his work ended.

Had supper at S11,

Gusti had porridge with hair.

haha.

I'm shagged.

YAWN.

Why am i feeling so disappointed?

no. I'm just feeling bored.

I slept 3 times yesterday.

The dentist call to cancel my appointment and i was already on the way out.

I woke up at 7.45AM la. omg

Come on la. I won't have the luxury of sleeping in late when i start work. And yet still I'm a victim of such lousy pranks.

GREAT. my dark eye circles are so coming back.

I'm starting work tomorrow.

Not that spinelli is my element, but shouldn't i already be comfortable there?

no. I'm apprehensive. I don't really wanna work there, or do i ?

I miss nazri, where have all the familiar faces gone to?

Will there still be anyone left to cover my mistakes?

I don't know.

This feeling sucks and its gonna spoil my day.

Watched enchanted today. Intended to watch on Thursday after prom but somehow it got thrown off the programme.

So this movie was late, but well what can i say? The movie was hmm.. enchanting haha.

After the movie, we went over to hereen to snoop! Ok. i was the only one snooping around.

SO... AHA! spotted Dennis at mooks. :D

SJ talked to him while i stood at the side flipping my slippers with my toes. Then S*HIT! my slippers flew. Like crap la. SJ saw it, don't know if Dennis did.

It was super embarrassing.

I really don't like attending those ' So what are you doing now' parties.

Ok, todays wasn't one of those. But still had had to answer that stupid question more than many times.

It was Ethan's 2nd birthday, Edwin and Soo held a party at Rebecca Rd.

I have no idea why i dreaded going there, but ultimately i guess i'll have to rate the party 6/10.

Plus another additional 2 points because DESMOND was there haha. nadia was there too but i don't care.

And also john wore a little miss t-shirt there. HAH

So 8/10.

Desmond was so hot, so hot. I totally went gaga went he walked into the hall. I mean who wouldn't. Vernon even came up with this silly plan for me to take a video with his son.

Ok- not his son. his wife's son. I still cannot understand why he would want to look after another man's son. And marry a women whos been married and divorced so many times. OH DESMOND, MARRY ME INSTEAD?

~

Went with Kityee to plaza singapura at noon to change she blouse. Saw this nice outfit, will geddit when i get my pay ):

Spectacular NOT! Prom was really filled with those little unnoticeable happy moments, not so happy moments and of coz the over exaggerated' UGH!' moments.

Don't really wanna forget this day that soon, don't wanna miss any details,so i'm gonna start from the moment i stepped out of the house.

THANKS to kityee and her countless lobangs, we got our makeover done at supercuts at a super good price plus a 10% discount. KITYEE ROCKS TOO. Actually i tink the stylist Daniel not bad looking haha. After having done over makeup and all that stuff i got hungry grr.. so we had hotdogs and then my lipstick got digested together with the food :(

Cab-ed down to the other end of Singapore to Conrad. Guess we reached there early coz we waited like an hour before going into the ballroom. During that time i kinda got a mini depression, felt really down after i saw him. How on earth could i have liked someone like him? YES. you wanna know my answer? its yes i did. (i know you wont even read my blog so santa cares.)

You've changed.

At the same time i was also msg-ing Mark. OH! talking 'bout that, Gusti called me after i told him i thought Lloyd is hot. I
got SUPER high after he told me Lloyd actually lives behind him and they go running on Tuesdays:DD AND he said i could come along too! I'm a bit*h.

And then we went in the ballroom, and i was STILL text-ing mark.

And i sat next to Linus. :D

honestly, i think the food cannot make it. Especially the fried rice, sigh.. seventy five dollars.

Here's the 'UHG!' part man. Prom king and queen nominees.

Like F*ck la.

Linus got nominated, and its a good thing really. The terrible, horrendous, disturbing and scary (i can totally go on coz on my vocab rocks) thing was his partner.

Like F*ck man.

I mean don't ask me whats wrong. EVERYTHING IS WORNG.

Shes terrible, horrendous, disturbing and scary.

I have to explain that the grapes weren't sour. ok maybe i was a bit jealous. She held his hands and they danced!

I wouldn't mind if it were any other girl. REALLY. Why couldn't it have been Jaslyn instead? SHE'S HOT.

And now i know why the emcee is an emcee. His match making skill sucks. SUCKS! He should have just taken MC on that day la.

I REALLY DON'T LIKE HER!

And how dare she goes on and on 'bout how hot Linus is.. :'(

Then again, both of them didn't win.

The night went on.

After dinner the discotheque lights came on. After some warming up all of us got super high.

REBECCA WAS IN DA' HOUSE!

haha

Danced like crazy till 'bout 1am. Were one of the last few to leave the hotel. Jiayi went home.

Had no curfew that night, so we(ME, ELIN, KITYEE) literally wandered on the streets. Decided to sit at the bus stop outside sentec convention hall, talked till 2plus and i felt hungry again :D

Walked to seven-eleven and had cup noodles. Shared a cab home with kityee, was really worn out by the time i reached home.

Had a super hard time undoing the damn hair la. Dropped dead after a quick shower.

PHEW. All that i've been waiting for since thirteen.. over in just hours.

Back to reality then.

Yesterday was a day spent well (:

Went to din tai feng for lunch and my bother said smthing really funny la

"WAH! ask me to dress up just to bring me to some stupid chinese restaurant"

But really, the food wasn't like excellent or anything though i enjoyed the zhi ma bao. Headed down to marina square after lunch with my sponser to get my prom dress. Tried alot of other clothes(i don't like to try clothings) and eventually went back to Dorothy Perkins.

Got exactly the one i wanted :) was really pleased although i didn't get to buy the topshop earrings.

My legs hurt and ached like sh*t by the time i reached my grandmother's place.

My auntie also threw in a swarovski neckless, a pair of earring and shoes. So i didn't have to spend a single cent on acessories at all :) i know i rock haha.

Now i'm all ready for prom!

YEAH!

Guess i'm gonna be home for the whole day, so might as was use the time to blog. My mothers still not really talking to me and its just me-and-her- home-alone. gosh its terrible la.

Still yesterday and friday was really fun cos.. i was NOT at home-alone-with-her! ok. This is dumb and doesn't make sense la.

SO, anyways. I went swimming with JEREMY LEE SWEE HOCK on friday and it was the worst swimming experience la. My twit of a brother suggested we went to taopayoh's swimming complex and it was bloody, and i mean bloody pathetic. The first thing that greeted me as i passed the gates was ' CLEANING IN PROGRESS'.

Like what the hell man, the oylmpic pool was totally out of use that morning. That was only piss#1. So i had to swim in the stupid training pool. Piss#2, the pool's water tasted salty la. And that really sucked la i'll bet all those uncles pee in there lor. Piss#3 is actully quite funny la. Half an hour later, two unhot aunties SASHAYED down to the pool in unhot bikinies. one even had a scarf round her waist la.

So then they came into the water and auntie number one wanted to start swimming from directly opposite me la.

Like f*ck? stupid meh?

cos the width of the pool was really short, so if she started swimming opposite me we're gonna bloody hell langga each other la. I stared at her thru my goggles and my goggles are transparent so i'll bet she saw me doing that. after that she moved away. HAH

There's auntie numer two, and she's even funnier la.

Each time she finishes one round of the width she starts touching the boobs

(hers are really big man).

It's duper duper hilarious la, she uses her hands and cups her breast, actually i also dunno what the hell she trying to do la, the uncles there also like not damn interested lor.

So much for what happened at the pool.

Went to swensens for dinner to put back all the calories i lost in the moring.

I caught Randy smiling to the waitress man haha. We made a super big thing out of it la. That night was really fun la.